Well, I'm a Civil Engineering student. And I'm on my fifth year actually. Until now, I'm still wondering why I took this course since I suck big-time in Math, as a matter of fact. It's just not my forte. Secondly, I'm lazy. And being a civil engineering student that I am, studying requires a lot of my time. And I mean, a lot of my time. I have to sit in front of my study table (Mind you I don't like being stucked in a place for more than 30 minutes unless otherwise there's something interesting in that place to keep me staying. :P) with my book open and a pen on my hand plus my notes for the guide and my Casio calculator (that's as valuable as my ID, for me at least. I freak out whenever I can see it in my bag! Most especially when I needed it the most :D), just so I can fully understand and deeply absorb those freakin' equations, codes, and principles; in my system. (Eherm! RCD?) I personally don't believe those darn things would help me live. Gosh, I've lived for more than sixteen years without knowing them and I don't think I'd die if I didn't! That won't make me less of a person either if I don't know them, right? So, I just don't get it. There must be a divine providence for this. :)
Now, first semester is over. And honestly, it had been a rough one for me. It's like I've been on an emotional, intellectual roller-coaster ride. And it was one exhausting ride, really.
Yesterday, I received four of my classcards for this semester. Yes, I did pass. And thank God I passed. But I just couldn't bring myself to be happy. I'm not happy. Not when I know I could have made my grades higher if I just study harder. (And complain lesser! Haha!) Now that's some realization, huh? Nasa huli ang pagsisisi talaga.
Maybe I just have to love everything that's happening to me now. Even my course. I'm the one who decided to take this in the first place so I might consider blaming myself. Chos.
No blaming. No giving up. No regrets. Just love. :)
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